December 12, 2018
Categorised in: Blog
You are beautiful.
So damn beautiful.
I’ve had the privilege of working with other Intuitive’s since 2007. I’ve seen it all.
I train other Intuitive’s, and know what it’s like to be you.
We are different. Let’s admit it. Let’s embrace it.
Growing up; my family told me I was weird & odd.
No-one outside my family said that to me. Most people thought I was quite amazing.
Recently, I received a letter from a girl I grew up with.
She and I are friends on Facebook and over the years I have shared my story and struggles.
She wrote how she’d always admired me. Secretly wishing she was me. Thinking I must have it all and how easy my life must be because I was pretty.
She was humbled and even apologized for her jealousy towards me when we were kids. She had no idea of the pain I was going.
From the outside looking in, it looked beautiful.
Looking back at old photo’s I now see that when I was most lost, most suffering; I looked the prettiest. Perfect hair, perfect makeup. Skinny, so skinny. And a smile that could lite up the world..
Anything and everything to hide the pain.
(This photo was taken of me in Seattle, 2002; two months before I went to the ocean to end it all.)
I fought the lies when I was young and still close to heaven. But as I got older the lies got in, and I let people in that were truly odd, truly weird, dangerous.
At age of 22, living in Seattle and dating the scariest of men, nearly twice my age; it was only then that I realized that I was nothing like him.
I wasn’t weird, nor was I strange. I was extraordinary.
I was extraordinarily kind, smart, funny, open hearted, sensitive and powerful.
They lied to me. They projected all of their fears and beliefs onto me and I was determined to fight my way back to who I really was.
That was the beginning of the beautiful, but excruciating journey of Boundaries ~ which is a journey all sensitive/Intuitive people will take.
The truth is; those of us born Sensitive are weird, we do see and experience the world a different way.
The lie is that it’s bad. It’s not. It’s just different. Therefore we need to take care of ourselves differently then most of the population.
5 Belief’s all people born Sensitive have:
- It’s all my fault: Sensitive people take on everyone else’s pain, thoughts, responsibilities, beliefs. And if you’re born into a family that lives in denial and blames everyone else for their behavior – the sensitive will feel responsible for all of the pain and confusion.
- If they get to close, they’ll realize I’m a horrible person: Because we take on other peoples pain we feel bad about ourselves. We don’t naturally understand where we end and another person starts. We carry enormous amount of guilt and shame because we carry the energy of others in our Aura.
- I don’t fit in: If you haven’t found other sensitive/Intuitive people you’re guaranteed to feel weird. Basic words and thoughts that come out of our mouth are incomprehensible to other people.
- Nobody understands me: Sensitive people feel like they understand everyone. We can see what people expect from us; what people think of us; and what people want us to do. But as we go through life, we don’t experience the same understanding from others as we give to them.
- I’m too sensitive, I can’t handle it: Sensitive people are told, “you’re too sensitive,” often by people that aren’t sensitive enough. Like it’s a bad thing to be sensitive, and grand to be in-sensitive. Words and tone matter to us. Our sensitivity is our truth. And our truth let’s us know exactly what’s going on.
Now that we’ve covered Belief Systems that aren’t true, let’s talk about
What is true and beautiful about Sensitives:
- You are incredibly generous with your understanding, time and heart.
- You are deeper and more compassionate then most people.
- You understand other people, thus being a soft place to fall.
- You are stronger then anyone else. Sensitive people have daily conversations that most people couldn’t handle in a lifetime.
- You are an older Soul. You are the adult in the room even if you’re the youngest person in the room.
- You are a mirror. You can’t help but mirror back to people that which they are. Good, bad or ugly.
- You offer a kindness not common on this earth even if you come across as prickly or hot tempered.
- You validate people. Validation for feelings or things people have been through or seen is a wonderful gift. People need to be validated and sensitives are the people who naturally do that.
- You are brave. You see things, and feel things most people would lose their minds over. You stick with it, and stick to it even if you are scared or incredibly sad. You are amazing!
- You have a strong will. You have a Will and a wisdom that will get you through life. You have gone through hell and it won’t stop you.
- You are beautiful. If you could see what I see in you, you would hold your head up, shoulders back, and confidently walk through this world. Your Soul radiates brighter then the non-sensitives. You are beautiful.
I traveled the States trying to understand my sensitivity and my Intuition.
There was no help in Montana. Friends said I was amazing, but no-one could explain my Psychic gift. They loved it, I hated it.
I sought out help in New York City only to find unreliable, eccentric people that scared me. The same thing in Seattle, in Montana, and in New England.
In 2006, while living in New England, I had time to read hundred’s of books while my toddler napped. After reading 15 of Psychic Medium, Sylvia Browne’s books, I was desperate enough to try to get a reading with her.
She was booked 5 years out and $1,000 for a half hour reading. I was desperate for guidance so I booked a session with her son.
The day of the reading they wouldn’t give me an exact time. At 10:55 I put my toddler at the kitchen sink to play with the water. My phone rang at 11:00. It was Chris Browne. I asked him to hold on while I put my toddler in her crib so she was safe as we had our session.
My daughter screamed bloody-murder as I took her from the water. I came back to the phone and apologized for the hold, and for my baby’s outburst; Chris asked if there was something I’d like to start with.
Yes, I had a ton of questions: What was I born to do? What is my Soul’s age? Am I really Psychic? How do I help other people? How do I figure myself out? Where can a person go to get help for being so sensitive.
Instead he said, “Well, let’s start with the fact that if you don’t medicate yourself your husband is going to leave you. You need to be on medication.”
My jaw dropped, paralyzed.
I wasn’t having problems in my marriage. I had no idea what he was talking about. But as a true sensitive, I felt shame and guilt and totally shut down assuming he was right.
He then went on to predict I wouldn’t move to Colorado; we wouldn’t buy the house we had planned; on and I would have 3 kids.
All of which, he was wrong about.
None the less; that 30-minute reading sent me into a Spiritual Crisis that took me month’s to come out of.
As a side note, I did have a close family member that was being medicated; did have problems with her marriage and did not get the house they were trying to buy. But it is irrelevant. The damage done by a Psychic that is wrong was traumatizing.
It wasn’t until we made it to Colorado and I found my mentor that I received not only help, but proper and helpful validation in my life and with my gift.
Even among other Psychic’s I felt odd and un-seen. My mentor said, “when you start teaching, you will find your people.”
Teaching, I could barely say my name without passing out in fear.
Years later, she was right.
I had another Spiritual Awakening in 2010, confronted myself, my demons and my gifts and came out clear on the other side.
It was confronting the Sensitivity within myself that I was able to see it clearly in others. And after teaching other sensitives for almost a decade I can tell you with total surety, you are Beautiful.
5 Ways to Embrace and Protect your Sensitivity:
- Confront the lies: Sit down and write 20 things people have said to you, or you say to yourself that might be a lie.
- Embrace your sensitivity: the next time someone says, “you’re too sensitive,” say, “thank you!”
- The next time you “feel” something is off or not quite right – believe it.
- When you feel yourself taking on a powerful emotion, ask yourself, “is this my feeling or someone else?”
- Watch your thoughts: If you are having too many negative thoughts put on an affirmation album. Louise Hay’s album: You Can Heal Your Life on I-tunes is amazing. Get those thoughts organized and moving in a positive direction so you can get clear about what is true and what is a lie – so you can have clear boundaries.
It’s a paradox, “when you love and approve of yourself, you will meet people that love and approve of you.”
It’s a Spiritual Truth.
God/Creator requires us to love and approve of ourselves from within. From the source of truth
It’s hard. I know.
Ten years later I do have people in my life that understand me. They are all other sensitives. There are times when we are witnessing something and all we have to do is look at one another to know we understand exactly what is going on.
My entire team are made up of other Sensitives: my accountant, my website designer, my lawyer – everyone. I won’t hire anyone for my work that isn’t a sensitive.
I would’ve never met these other women had I not went through the trials and lessons I had to go through to get here.
Your Sensitivity is your Super-Power. It’s your golden ticket to be able to have and create the life you want. You don’t need other people to understand your Sensitivity but you do need it to be respected.
Above all, you respect it. You embrace it. It will guide you to your truth and your truth is Beautiful…
Click the link below for the : Be Guided and Be Great Podcast ~ Episode 5